Right, darling, let's talk. So you have a battery. But which one is it? Is it a "Portable"? An "LMT"? An "SLI"? Honestly, it's a ghastly guessing game designed to send you spiraling into a pit of despair. Trying to figure it out from the regulations is a fate worse than a season without champagne.

But you are not going to read that document. Absolutely not. Not on my watch, sweetie.

Instead, I've created this divinely simple little map. Just start at the far left, answer a few terribly straightforward questions, and follow the arrows. It's like one of those fabulous magazine quizzes, but instead of finding your "Summer Style," you find your battery category.

In minutes, you'll have your answer and can get back to more pressing matters. Cheers!